I am sure at some point or another my friends have wondered why I am always so "anti' weekend when it comes to my status updates and comments. To be honest I feel pretty bad about it but the weekends just wear me out and by Sunday night I am sore tired and in a bad mood. I do fine during the week but my threshhold is about 4 hours when it comes to running, being jumped on, body slammed, hit, kicked, pounced on, and in general beaten up.... after that I am ill and ready to take a nap or a hot shower or just simply grab my car keys and run... I know this isnt Sarai's fault she's 3 and 1/2 it's more the OTHER half's fault.. it's him that doesnt help or give me a break or pick up the slack so to speak. UGHHHH

I went in to see Dr. Nic yesterday. As you may have read in my previous post
see here I called and moved my appointment up by a week because I have been feeling so fatigued.
Well the incredible news is that all my "leukemia signs" are great... my white and red counts are perfect and tho a little low my platelets are good too.
The frustrating news is that I still have two types of anemia:
Megloblastic and
Hemolytic... I wanted to research these before posting so I could explain them in normal english. Essentially megloblastic anemia is linked to B12 deficiancy, I am still unsure as to if taking a suppliment will work for this, we are going to try one month of oral B12 and then go to injections if that doesnt work. Hemolytic anemia is where the red blood cells are deformed and/or broken in some way, this can be a product of the chemo and also of cronic pancreatitus (which can also cause the megloblastic kind) so I am double down with this. On the flip side my body has excess iron, for some unknown reason it's there but it's not being absorbed and used like iron should be. So with all this in play my fatigue and ill feeling are completely understandable.
Dr. Nic was very anxious yesterday, he told me that this is a time of "high alert" that between now and my one year aniversary in June he will be watching extra close for signs of relapse.
I was a little disapointed because I thought that I had already hit my 1 year milestone (thinking they were basing the year on dignosis not point of remission) but what's a few months right?!
If you'd like to see pics from my journey with AML please check out my
previous post . I spent several hours on it only to have it pushed to back pages when I posted new entries.....
much love and prayers to those who keep up with me and lift me up in their hearts and prayers!!

Just the way you are by: Bruno Mars
Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
I wanted to post an upate on the medical front today. For those of you that keep up with me you know that Feb. has been a tough month for me. It all started with a cold brought home from daycare in late Jan. that turned into pneumonia and some other respratory issues. I spent a night in the hosptial and 21 days on medication. I have been off of all sickness related meds for about 10 days now. I called Dr. Nic's office last week because so many of the things I am feeling now are mirroring what I delt with in Dec 2009 when I was dignosed. I am EXHAUSTED to the point of being unable to keep myself awake at times, I have been having reoccuring abdomnal pain, horrible bruises, dizziness, headaches and general feeling of illness. So I figured why wait, call get it over with and make sure nothing else is going on. So here I am on the 14th month milestone of my dignosis I will see Nic tomorrow, have blood work done and find out if I am still keeping the monster at bay.......

This photo was taken the first day of chemo 12.28.09
I really took the whole hair loss thing in stride when I went through chemo... my only concern was that I not wake up with clumps of hair on my pillow or have to clean globs of it out of the drain when I went to shower or wash it. I made the decision 2 days into chemo to have a dear friend of mine, Matt, come and just shave me flat bald. My only regret has been that I did not think to save and donate my hair.... When I was dignosed I had JUST (as in days before) splurged on a cut color and style. I loved my hair (tho many use to tease me about my color choices)
I delt well with my baldness, despite how cold it made me, it never really bothered me that I didnt have hair. I wore hats and scarfs because P was pretty embarassed by it but really I could care less. It was like a war badge I wanted everyone to know that I was fighting and winning.
Well now I can say that I hate my flippin hair I mean HATE it. It's at that stupid stage where it wont grow back fast enough. I cant tie it up and my "bangs" if you can call them that look like I put them in those squishy rollers and slept in them for a month. ARGGGGHHHH All I ask for is a pony tail!!!
This photo was taken aprox 14 months after I shaved my head
Feb 2011